Uncertain Fire Page 2

  Chapter Two

  A few days later Norm, his most experienced pilot, came down with the flu and Bradley had to cover his flights. He was glad of the extra work, it meant he would have to stay late to catch up on the paperwork and delay his return to his empty flat. Norm was still ill on Friday and Bradley's last flight returned late; he wasn't able to get to the club until after Kamil's set began. Walking in and seeing the familiar slim form swaying sensuously to the heavy beat, Bradley felt the tension leave his body.

  For the first time since he began coming to the club regularly he was able to get a table close to the stage and could watch every nuance of the performance. He had been right about Kamil's eyes, he saw they were grey-blue in color, and his hair was lighter than it looked from further away, having golden highlights. There was nothing overtly sexual about Kamil's dancing, it was more of a rhythmic extension of the music, but it was the sexiest thing Bradley had ever seen and from close up he could see the light sheen of perspiration on the ivory skin on the man's arms and shoulders. When a fast song started Kamil snapped his hips and spun around the pole, tilting his head, eyes closed and a faint smile on his thin lips. Bradley thought him the most beautiful person he had ever seen, male or female. When it came time for him to leave the stage, Kamil came to the edge to gather his tip cask and at that moment Bradley reached forward to drop his tip money in. Kamil's eyes flickered up, catching Bradley's gaze for a brief second, then he grabbed the box and left the stage, leaving Bradley strangely breathless from just that momentary eye contact.

  The following Tuesday, Bradley grudgingly drove to the University campus to deliver his lecture on entrepreneurism. He was familiar with the school, he had taken mathematics courses here a few years before in preparation for his pilot's exam, and found the business building without difficulty. He was fully prepared for his lecture; after all, he only had to recount how he had started his own company, but he would be glad when it was over and he was resolved to not let Harry talk him into anything like this again.

  The lecture was held in a small auditorium; any student taking any business course was welcome to attend and there were perhaps seventy students present. Bradley gave the room a cursory glance and began to talk, speaking for forty minutes. The organizers had briefed him beforehand, telling him it was customary to have a question and answer session after he was finished, and rather than require everyone to stay for that Bradley simply told the students with questions to remain behind and dismissed everyone else. Watching most of the students get up and leave, Bradley caught a glimpse of honey brown hair near the rear of the hall. His breath caught, but he told himself he was imagining things, his obsession with the dancer called Kamil was causing him to see things. After all, why would a male stripper be at a business lecture?

  As the students filtered out, however, Bradley saw a slim figure rise and come forward, apparently with a question for Bradley. There was no mistake, it was unquestionably Kamil. Bradley would have guessed him to be slightly older than the average university student but he obviously was one, he carried a spiral notebook he had been taking notes on and he wore a backpack slung over his shoulder. He was dressed plainly here, of course, wearing ordinary camouflage pants and a khaki jacket rather than the skinny jeans he danced in, but Bradley still found him breathtakingly attractive.

  Several students were before him and Bradley answered their questions as best he could, they were genuinely interested in one day owning their own business and he felt obligated to offer any advice he could, but his thoughts kept straying and his eyes kept drifting to the man he had been unable to get out of his mind for the past several weeks. When he finally approached Bradley, everyone else in the room faded into the background.

  "Kamil," Bradley muttered, unaware that he'd said it aloud.

  The young man looked puzzled. "I'm sorry, have we met?" His voice was soft, with a northern lilt to it.

  Bradley mentally shook himself. "No, not really, but I know who you are. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a fan of yours."

  Kamil still looked uncertain. "Of my music, you mean?"

  "No, no." Bradley was aware he must sound incredibly foolish and he attempted to pull himself together. "I don't know anything about your music. I was referring to Rod's."

  Comprehension dawned in Kamil’s eyes, but a wariness showed as well. "Oh, uh......I see. Yes, I work there, but....."

  Bradley cut him off, anxious to put him at ease. He was obviously uncomfortable talking about it in school, which Bradley could understand. "Listen, Kamil......is that your real name, by the way?"

  Kamil smiled. "Yes. Kamil Merick."

  Bradley automatically returned the smile, something about the other man's smile made him feel like he was bathed in the summer sunlight. "I'm Bradley Dutton, as you probably know since you just sat through my lecture."

  "Your lecture was good, very inspiring. My main field of study is Humanities but I was required to take a business course and it's more interesting than I expected."

  Bradley felt emboldened by Kamil's open manner. "Do you have a class right now? Maybe you could join me for a cup of coffee or something."

  Kamil was hesitant. "I think you should know something. I work in a gay club but, umm....I'm not gay."

  Bradley felt a sharp pang of disappointment. It had never occurred to him that Kamil may be straight. Still, he realized he would like to get to know him better regardless. There was something engaging about him, something Bradley felt drawn to beyond his obvious attractiveness.

  "I know that sounded like a pick-up line but I didn't really mean it that way."

  Kamil smiled wider this time. "In that case, I don't have any more classes today. But how about a beer instead of coffee?"

  "That sounds even better!" Bradley smiled.

  Kamil agreed to ride with Bradley to a pub not too far from the university; he didn't own a vehicle but used public transportation to get around. As they grew more comfortable with one another over a few pints, Bradley was able to look beyond the surface and develop an appreciation for Kamil as a person. He revealed himself to be a witty, intelligent drinking companion and the more Bradley learned about him the more intrigued he became.

  Kamil was older than the usual university student, as Bradley suspected. In fact, he was slightly older than Bradley himself but he had only decided to continue his education after his first career choice hadn't worked out. Kamil had been a professional musician for ten years, a guitarist for a moderately successful metal band in England's northeast but the band had broken up, leaving Kamil at loose ends. With being a musician as his only work experience he hadn't been able to find a job to support himself as he pursued his degree so when he chanced upon an advertisement for dancers at Rod's, he applied. He told them right away at the interview that under no circumstances would he strip but to his complete surprise they hired him anyway based on his dancing alone. What's more, they allowed him to use his own music to dance to and that helped him overcome any remaining reservations he had about the job. The money was excellent and, coupled with what he earned weeknights as a guitar tutor, he was able to take care of his modest expenses.

  "The only drawback of the job is that people assume I'm gay. I get propositioned by men quite often so you can understand why I assumed that was what you were doing." Kamil was apologetic, but Bradley assured him he needn't be.

  "I understand completely, and to be honest I'm not gay either. I suppose I could be considered bi, but I'm not looking to hook up with anyone of either gender. I go to Rod's to relax and watch the dancers. I only went a few times a year until I saw you dancing, though. Now I find myself there every weekend. Your performance is....different. It doesn't seem to matter that you don't remove your clothing; in fact, it's refreshing that you don't."

  Kamil seemed pleased. "Thanks! I enjoy it as long as I can just close my eyes and let the music take me over. It was that way when I was with the band, I would get so caught up in it that I forgot about the audience,
so the fact that Rod's lets me use my own music makes it bearable. I don't think I could do it if they didn't."

  Bradley nodded. "When you say it's your music, exactly what does that mean?"

  "I should say it's my band's music, but since there is no more band I think of it as mine, I wrote much of it, and it's me playing the guitar."

  There was a wistfulness in Kamil's grey-blue eyes when he spoke of his music that caused Bradley to comment, "You miss it, don't you?"

  Kamil gave a small smile and a half shrug. "I suppose I do, but I should have known it wasn't going to last forever."

  "So what will you do when you get your degree?"

  Kamil sighed, toying with the napkin on the table between them. "Teach, I suppose. Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to be able to teach music. When it comes to that, how did you ever come to start an air freight company?"

  "I just sort of fell into it. The company I was working for was going out of business and I knew I could turn it around if I had the chance. So just after my divorce I gathered a few investors and bought it." Bradley caught Kamil's quick look when he mentioned his divorce, and he had to smile. "Yes, I was married, very briefly. Like I said, I like both men and women."

  'How....," Kamil paused, seeming to struggle for words. "How did you know?"

  Bradley wasn't sure what he meant. "Know what?"

  "You know, that you liked men too." Kamil looked down and lowered his voice, seemingly embarrassed to be asking the question.

  "Oh. I don't know, I guess it was when I really couldn't think of any reason it should make a difference what sex a person was if I'm attracted to them."

  Kamil looked thoughtful but didn't comment. The two of them ended up spending over two hours chatting at the pub, then Bradley offered to drive Kamil home.

  "It's all right, I can take the bus from here."

  "That's ridiculous, I have my car right outside." Then Bradley realized what may be causing Kamil to be reluctant to accept the ride. "You know I'm not going to hit on you or try to come up to your place, don't you?"

  Kamil grinned, somewhat abashed. "I'm sorry, I've just grown used to being cautious since working at the club. But if you say you're just giving me a lift, I'll accept."

  Kamil lived in a bedsit not too far away and Bradley was careful to not make him feel uneasy. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't desire Kamil, but he had also come to respect him as a person and didn't want to jeopardize their budding friendship. They exchanged phone numbers before Kamil got out of the car, hoping to get together for another drink sometime.

  Bradley felt almost reluctant to go to Rod's that Friday night. He very much wanted to see Kamil dance but he also knew it would stir up feelings in him that weren't necessarily platonic and he wasn't sure how well he would be able to keep them in check. Still, he found himself at what had become his usual table when Kamil emerged from the concealed door behind the small stage. As always, Kamil didn't look out at the dozen or so men gathered in front of his stage but Bradley sensed that Kamil knew he was there.

  The mix of music he chose for this evening seemed more hard-driven than his usual choices and there was an added aggressiveness to his moves, to the way he thrust his hips to the pole and rather than let his body follow the beat he seemed to almost be leading the music somewhat in the way a conductor leads an orchestra. Now that he knew the music was Kamil's own Bradley understood how Kamil could anticipate the rhythm, but there was more of a raw, almost sexual edge to the dance this night. Bradley was almost sorry he had come, it would be more difficult than ever to keep his desire for Kamil in check, but he also knew wild horses couldn't have kept him away. By the end of the performance Kamil's tip box was so full the bills were jammed in the slot and there was something akin to a smile on his face when he picked it up and exited the stage.

  Bradley had to have another drink before he felt calmed enough to leave the club. As soon as he was out on the sidewalk, however, a soft voice he immediately recognized called his name. He turned to see Kamil standing against a door marked 'employees only' and he couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face.

  Kamil came over to him. "I thought you were here tonight."

  "I wouldn't miss your performance," Bradley admitted.

  "Do you have time to go for a pint?"

  Bradley was a little surprised but agreed. "I don't have my car, though."

  "That's all right, there's a quiet pub just around the corner."

  They walked side by side and Bradley kept stealing glances at Kamil, noting the unusually somber look on his face. He still wore his skin-tight jeans but had thrown a denim jacket over his sleeveless top against the cool night air. When they reached the pub Bradley was relieved to see it was an ordinary pub tucked away on a side street from the busy main thoroughfare. They took a booth near the back of the nearly-empty room.

  Once their beers were brought, Bradley couldn't contain his concern any longer. "Is something wrong? You look...I don't know, thoughtful."

  Kamil flashed a quick smile that was immediately erased. "I've been thinking about what you said the other day."

  Bradley was at a loss. "What I said about what? We talked about a lot of things."

  "Yeah, we did, but only one thing stuck in my mind. It was what you said about when you knew you were attracted to men as well as women. You said if someone is attracted to a person it shouldn't matter what sex that person is."

  Bradley nodded, still unsure where Kamil was going with this. "It shouldn't. At least, I've never thought it should. But why does that trouble you?"

  Kamil appeared nervous, he was turning his pint glass in circles on the table leaving little wet rings on the worn wood. "I've......well, I've kind of found myself attracted to another man and I'm not sure how to handle it."

  Bradley felt his heart fall. Kamil apparently found one of Rod's patrons attractive. He wasn't surprised; Rod's was an upscale club and attracted many professional men as customers. Handsome, successful men; doctors, attorney's, stockbrokers. And as a new friend, a bisexual friend, Kamil was looking to him for advice. He swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing he would help Kamil any way he could with this.

  "Have you let the man know you may be interested?" he managed to ask.

  Kamil shook his head. He was having trouble meeting Bradley's eyes, he was looking into his beer glass as though the answers could be found in the brown ale. "No. I'm not even sure if I should. I wouldn't know what he might expect of me. I mean, how would I go about asking him out?"

  "The same way you would ask a girl out. Like I said, there's really no difference." Inwardly, Bradley felt a knot in his stomach at the thought of Kamil dating this man, whoever he may be. He only hoped the man would be worthy of Kamil. Even though they had only known one another a very short time, Bradley knew Kamil was a very special person.

  Kamil appeared to think over what Bradley said, then he raised his eyes to Bradley's. "All right. Bradley, would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night?"

  Bradley gasped. He wasn't sure he had heard that correctly. "You mean......me?"

  Kamil nodded with an almost shy smile. "Yeah. I mean, if you aren't interested....,"

  Bradley cut in, "Yes, Kamil. I'd love to have dinner with you tomorrow night."

  Chapter Three

  Bradley was as nervous as a schoolboy as he prepared for dinner with Kamil the next evening. He had one of the feelings a person gets only a few times in a lifetime; like he was standing on the precipice of something big, something life-changing. They agreed that since he was the only one with a vehicle he would pick Kamil up and let Kamil take it from there since he was the one to initiate the date. He had no idea what Kamil had in mind so he was unsure how to dress and changed his clothes three times before deciding on casual black pants and a blue button-up shirt. His black leather aviator jacket completed the outfit and, fighting down the butterflies in his stomach, Bradley set out for Kamil's flat. He wondered if Kamil was nervous as well
preparing for his first date with another man.